When I first began my weight-loss battle many years ago in jr. high I only wanted to be thin... we all know the pressure of high school and the teasing and ridicule a "fat-girl" faces. Well now years later my over all goal is to be fit and healthy... and I am my BMI is normal and I am 4 pounds away from my goal weight that my Dr set for me.

But I have another problem... which my best friend likes to call "fat-girl" syndrome. Deep inside I still feel like the big girl of the bunch, the fat friend so to speak.... even though I am not technically "fat" I still feel like I am... mentally.

Has anyone else experienced this or something like this? Or has any suggestions to what I need to do to get rid of the "fat girl" inside.

Thanks,
MissDFITT

what do you see when you look in the mirror?

The blonde guy from Queer Eye has a tv show on bravo that I've caught a few times- How to Look Good Naked -and he touches a lot on the subject of loving who you are right now - not at some size that you might never be -or a goal weight that might or mght not be appropriate for you.

Work on finding the things about you that you love and have improved...

Are you stronger than you were?
Are you more physically fit? can you go up stairs without getting winded?

compile a list of things that you love about you -both external and internal... and remind yourself of them

I am always indifferent when I look in the mirror. Somedays I am suprised at how much I have changed over the years and other days I stand and pick at every flaw I see...

I have always tried to not concentrate on being a certain size or weight, but rather go off of how I look and feel. I am currently in the best shape of my life and I am happy too.
But as soon as I am in a crowd I right away feel like everyone is staring at me and silently judging me by my size.... It keeps me from going to social gatherings, especially ones that include food.... I can't eat in large crowds either for the same reason....

I will try to make a list of things I like about myself.... but I somehow feel like that won't be enough.

but I somehow feel like that won't be enough.
self fulfilling prophecy - what you believe is very powerful...

what do you see when you look in the mirror?

The blonde guy from Queer Eye has a tv show on bravo that I've caught a few times- How to Look Good Naked -and he touches a lot on the subject of loving who you are right now - not at some size that you might never be -or a goal weight that might or mght not be appropriate for you.

Work on finding the things about you that you love and have improved...

Are you stronger than you were?
Are you more physically fit? can you go up stairs without getting winded?

compile a list of things that you love about you -both external and internal... and remind yourself of them


That is an awesome show. I recommend watching it.

For whatever reason its hard to believe that I am not that girl anymore....

Who was that girl?

What was right about her? Maybe those qualities are worth holding on to...

Changing weight is easy...

Changing perceptions of yourself is hard... and it's an ongoing process...

part of it is reminding yourself that you are not your weight...

We've had threads similar to this before - and one insight that I've had about myself -- was that when I was almost 400lbs -I had far more confidence in myself because at that weight -people had no expections of me and I could do and be whatever I wanted... and was almost invisible... Now that I'm more than half my original size... I'm far more visible and that has really been tough on my confidence because people see me more now..

The girl I was, was very unhappy, unsocial, ugly in that I was rude to people because they were rude to me. At my heaviest I only remember being unhappy, it was so long ago and I was so young I dont remember who I was because even now I am not sure who I am....

I agree that it is an on-going process and yes my self-esteem and self-worth are much higher now than they ever were before.... and that the world invisible describes who I used to be... at least while I was in high school.... And I think now being in college I still want to be invisible, but its way harder.... because like you said people see me....

Hmm, I never looked at it that way before.... its making my mind turn like crazy....

Thanks for your insight... and I commend you on your weight-loss! And your right the loosing part is easy, its the mental that bites you in the tush! Again thanks.

you're still very young and you can be whomever you want to be - as hippie dippie as this sounds- we are ever evolving - who you were last year, last month, last week... isn't who you are today - or next week... Your past makes up who you are today but doesn't lock you into that person.

Who do you want to be - and what's standing in your way of becoming her?

I totally agree that we are always evolving. And I am not sure of who I want to be.... there are lots of things I want to be but which of those defines me? For example I want to be a nutritionist as well as a fitness professional.... however I want to be a mom and wife (someday, currently engaged).... and eventually a roll model for other nutritionists and fitness professionals as well as my kids....

So which one of those defines who I am? Does what I do define who I am? Eek... these life lessons are hard to understand.

as a lifelong workaholic -what we do -- does define who we are to some degree but it doesn't make us who we are... and it doesn't really define us in a healthy way... What should define a person is their character...

I was a sassy kid -and the nuns always used to ask me who the heck i thought I was (right before they called my parents :D )

Figuring out who you are is a lifelong process... but until that time comes - being satisfied with who you currently are (and knowing who that person is right now) is the struggle...

I would say I am satisfied with who I am right now.... young, outgoing, laid-back, smart, healthy, in-love... ha and the list goes on!

Maybe I should try to be more confident when the fat girl in me comes out.... she likes to try to hide me and I slump my shoulders and look down.... trying to be invisible... however the idea of being seen is hard to grasp....