I got in from work last night around 10ish and was mindlessly flipping channels... and stumbled into yet another sensationalistic "how'd i get to be so fat' show on one of the cable networks..

My Shocking Story
Too Young To Be So Fat
TLC :: TV Listings :: My Shocking Story (http://tlc.discovery.com/tv-schedules/series.html?paid=2.14414.55864.30187.1)

16-year-old Dexter weighs 340lbs. He attends the Academy of the Sierras, probably the only year-round boarding high school for morbidly obese kids in the world. We film Dexter's emotional change as he confronts why he has eaten excessively.


One of the kids featured in the story was a 13 year old girl who weighed according to her doctor 320lbs... and was trying to get medical clearance for liposuction... She never did end up getting clearance because her iron levels were too low for surgery to be performed safely.. but this girl and her mother were completely infuriating... The mom kept going on about how it's not her fault... Umm -yeah right... And she was mad that her daughter couldn't have the lipo.

At one point the mom decided to change their meals and the girl had salad and steak for dinner - at age 13 -she had never had a tomato before... and the faces and dramatics she was making after eating the tomato were aggravating.

The boy featured, who was attending this fat high school, seemed to be making changes in his life and teh school seemed to have a genuine interest in educating the high school kids about nutrition as well as getting to the reason why they overate to begin with.

This girl though - the closing scene was the doctor telling her that she couldn't have the surgery = and telling her that she needed to lose weight... by moving more and eating less... and her acting like a 13 year old.

and her mother was even worse - at one point they show the mom and her daughter going off to vegas for a "bonding trip to get the girl healthy" mom goes to the casino t gamble and get drunk - the girl eats herself into a coma practically... and mom doesn't give acrap

Lipo as a solution to an emotionally disturbed 13 year old... i'm glad she was turned down for the lip... because she'd just need it again in a few months.. .because she wasn't changing habits

Well that explains her eating problem doesn't it. I do feel sorry for children that age who have been sabotaged by parents. An adult is responsible for their own obesity, even if it originates in childhood, at some point THEY have the control, but a child is still at the whim of their parents whether it comes to hygiene, eating, or activity.:banghead:

And this is a fine example of why humans should have to pass a thorough exam to be qualified to reproduce.

I think i watched all of 15 minutes of this program -and it's still irritating me...

the mother just infuriated me...

a lot of dexter's issues wth food ( and maybe they're excuses but children aren't always equipped to puttiing voice to emotions) came from being the youngest of 5 and watching his parents go thru a divorce and not understanding it completely.. His father seemed to realize that he shouldered some of the blame and really encouraged his son to get help...

the mom of lipo chick -her idea of help ws getting lipo...

And this is a fine example of why humans should have to pass a thorough exam to be qualified to reproduce.

When my plan for world domination comes to fruition -that will be a requirement..

What I don't get is...what's the point of lipo on someone who weighs 320 lbs? Did they think the doc could just suction out ALL the excess fat?

I thoughti heard the number 80lbs - which is a huge amount of fat to suck out...

but thats what she was expecting seemed dangerous to me...

-I think she was hoping it would give her a jumping off point - but watching her eat her feelings with fried food and dessert at the las vegas buffet - it wasn't going to help her much..

I thoughti heard the number 80lbs - which is a huge amount of fat to suck out...

but thats what she was expecting seemed dangerous to me...

-I think she was hoping it would give her a jumping off point - but watching her eat her feelings with fried food and dessert at the las vegas buffet - it wasn't going to help her much..

I thought lipo was just for removing smallish amounts of fat; isn't it a pretty traumatic procedure recovery-wise?

I wonder why they thought "lipo" and not "gastric bypass" or "lap band". Some doctors are performing bariatric surgery on teenage patients with excellent results, but your head really does need to be in the right place for it.

My parents' neighbor's granddaughter keeps trying to get a gastric bypass and doctors keep turning her down because she's not right in the head in terms of her attitude about health and food and her expectations are not realistic. The granddaughter's mother (the neighbor's daughter-in-law) had a gastric bypass with incredible results.

This show has really stuck in my craw...

one of the comments this girl made was that lipo was her last chance...

I really wanted to reach into the tv and smack her hard.

Dumbass - you're 13... you've got plenty of chances ahead of you...

This show has really stuck in my craw...

one of the comments this girl made was that lipo was her last chance...

I really wanted to reach into the tv and smack her hard.

Dumbass - you're 13... you've got plenty of chances ahead of you...

She is a dumbass, but she's only 13. Most 13 year-olds are dumbasses on some level.

The girl's MOTHER is the real idiot here. Some people shouldn't be allowed to have kids. I'll probably never get to have any because I can't find a man mature enough to want them with me...but idiots like that get to reproduce and pollute their children with their stupid bullshit. It really pisses me off.

the mom wasn't thin but she also wasn't obese either...

Reality television and I do not get along - i've watched 5 minute spurts of I'm abad parent come save me nanny programs and really wonder what the hell is wrong with people...

Some might say it's a good thing that a car accident took away my ability to procreate -i'm far too selfish to ever be a parent... .but jeesh... paying attention to a child isn't that tough...

This all ties into why I've been looking into getting a degree in nutrition. Kids don't know why they're fat. Sounds like some parents don't know either. Although the lipo-mom sounds like she doesn't have the brain cells to comprehend the facts in the first place. This is why obesity is the $$$$ industry that it is.

mom kept going on about how it's not her fault...

Mom's fault.

End story.

And this is a fine example of why humans should have to pass a thorough exam to be qualified to reproduce.

It's required to drive a car, but I don't see very good drivers out there. People are stupid and always will be.

Even this guy :iamwithstupid:

I tried to watch the reality show they did a while ago 'Honey, We're Killing the Kids' about families who overreat and it got to me....I would never want my child to have to deal with the crap that I did with eating and emotions. I also watched or tried to watch an episode of Maury where a mother had an 80 lb 3 year old....what the heck???? And she said he could have anything he wanted..chicken wings, french fries, hamburgers.....gah....it drove me insane.

I used to work in child care and there was a child, who had quite a bit of weight on him at a centre where I was completing my placement and he always acted up, hitting other children, and grabbing them and pushing them and we were trying to work with him on getting him involved with other kids, and the one day he literally shoved a kid into a wall and hitting him in the stomach. When staff tried to talk with his mother about what happened, she said to him 'No MacDonalds for you today!' because as it turns out, she takes him to MacDonalds every day after daycare......as it turns out he ended up being taken away from his parents because they were hitting him, hence where he got the behaviour, but they just fed him MacDonalds and never anything else....gah...infuriates me, just thinking about it.

Oh yeah... I remember that train wreck of a show. Mal, you lasted a lot longer than I did... I think I maybe lasted 3 minutes.

Once again, the 13 year old girl's mom has shown us a prime example of an utter lack of self responsibility. Too much stupid out there, and it continues to reproduce.

I feel bad for the girl. I remember being 13, vaguely, as a random nightmare anyway. I can't even imagine what it must be like to be 13 and 320 pounds. Not surprising she acted the way she did, given the stellar parental figure she had to look up to as an example.

This is unfortunately an example of what I see every time I look around. It drives me crazy, because people don't seem to take responsibility for their own actions on any level at all.

"oh, he had a rough childhood, thats why he is a serial killer now", "he is just misunderstood" WTF?? Anybody remember Warren Zevon's sarcastic song "Excitable Boy"?

I'm overweight because I didn't push myself away from the table soon enough, and didn't exercise enough. Not because my parents didn't love me enough, or because some TV show told me to do it or any other reason. Nobody force fed me half a birthday cake, I did it myself!!!! I'm fat because I made myself that way!

Drives me nuts!!!

BTW, I'm agreeing on the parental comments though. Kids, until they are able to make adult decisions, rely upon the judgment of their parents, who seem to be lacking a lot of common sense these days.

I would be a strong supporter of a reproduction license. =P

I worked with a woman who had a 11 year old daughter who was pushing 200. She claimed she only fed her healthy foods and she still gained the weight. She would go into these fits about it and how there seemed like there was nothing she could do.

One of the other women who worked there babysat one day for her and the only vegetables or fruit in the entire house was a rock solid frozen thing of peas.

Parents like that just go into denial mode. That mother from the show sounds like she has some sort of constant victim syndrome where nothing is ever her fault and she's angry all the time at everyone.

lipo for a 13 year old... thats just insane. Anyone who would do that procedure is disgusting. To think it would do anything except momentarily reduce her weight till she gained it back in a few weeks its ridiculous.

It's child abuse, plain and simple. To me it's no better than beating your children. In some ways it's a lot worse. Bones and bruises can heal. Diabetes is irreversible, and you need a liver to live.

It made me think of this article published years ago by the BBC, detailing the explosion of type II cases in children:

BBC NEWS | Health | Child diabetes time-bomb warning (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4462111.stm)

It's happening in the USA too. Tragic.

It's child abuse, plain and simple. To me it's no better than beating your children. In some ways it's a lot worse. Bones and bruises can heal. Diabetes is irreversible, and you need a liver to live.

It made me think of this article published years ago by the BBC, detailing the explosion of type II cases in children:

BBC NEWS | Health | Child diabetes time-bomb warning (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4462111.stm)

It's happening in the USA too. Tragic.

Hmm...my brother is a juvenile diabetic(read the hereditary kind) and his liver is not his problem. His pancreas just ceased to function when he was 6. He's been insulin dependent most of his life. Another weak point because of it are the kidneys and my brother is no exception there. His were wonky to begin with and then he got in a bad accident a few years back as a result of a diabetic blackout and lost all function in those too(he's on dialysis). He just had a heart attack too(he's 32). Did I mention he does eat right, weighs well within the acceptable limits for his height, and works out? Anyway, I just don't want anyone thinking all diabetics are the result of bad eating choices. There is a strong genetic predisposition in our family for JUVENILE diabetes. Interestingly, our family is not predisposed, nor has anyone had adult onset diabetes--go figure huh?


One more thing, the parenting license. I could never be ok with something like that. Who would make the judgement as to who is 'fit' or not? Beethoven's mother would probably not have been considered fit yet she begot Beethoven. The natural mother of my daughter's 2 cousins would not have been considered fit, yet the two girls are alive and well thanks to my sister in law who adopted them from a neglectful parent. My point is if we were to exclude people on the face, it could be foolhardy since the child may be perfectly wonderful and we are basing their worthiness to life based on the idiocy of their parent. Not to mention that I'm really not eager to have my basic freedoms as a human being taken from me by another human being's moral judgements.

Better answer would probably be to take this young girl out of her mother's care. If your child is that heavy and you refuse to do anything solid about it, the issue of neglect and even abuse come into play. But to deny this young lady life to begin with? We have no idea of the wonderful person she is or will become someday so to deny her life based on her mother's qualifications seems hasty and cruel. And you know what--13 years ago, her mother might have been the type of person we would have thought would make a good parent--years and life sometimes change a person both positively and negatively. I know I'm not the same person I was when I had my first child nearly 11 years ago, I doubt this lady is either. Age, time, and experience doesn't always bring positive growth in people.

Hmm...my brother is a juvenile diabetic(read the hereditary kind) and his liver is not his problem. His pancreas just ceased to function when he was 6. He's been insulin dependent most of his life. Another weak point because of it are the kidneys and my brother is no exception there. His were wonky to begin with and then he got in a bad accident a few years back as a result of a diabetic blackout and lost all function in those too(he's on dialysis). He just had a heart attack too(he's 32). Did I mention he does eat right, weighs well within the acceptable limits for his height, and works out? Anyway, I just don't want anyone thinking all diabetics are the result of bad eating choices. There is a strong genetic predisposition in our family for JUVENILE diabetes. Interestingly, our family is not predisposed, nor has anyone had adult onset diabetes--go figure huh?

Juvenile diabetes is type I and it isn't linked to obesity. I'm talking about type II, which used to be called "adult onset diabetes". I've known many people with type I and none of them were overweight.

On the other hand, I've only known one non-elderly person in my life with type II who has never been overweight, but both of her parents and all four of her grandparents died from complications of type II diabetes. She was recently diagnosed at age 35. She's taller than I am (I'm 5'6") and she weighs 130-135lbs. Everyone else I've known under age 65 with type II had a weight problem.


One more thing, the parenting license. I could never be ok with something like that. Who would make the judgement as to who is 'fit' or not? Beethoven's mother would probably not have been considered fit yet she begot Beethoven. The natural mother of my daughter's 2 cousins would not have been considered fit, yet the two girls are alive and well thanks to my sister in law who adopted them from a neglectful parent. My point is if we were to exclude people on the face, it could be foolhardy since the child may be perfectly wonderful and we are basing their worthiness to life based on the idiocy of their parent. Not to mention that I'm really not eager to have my basic freedoms as a human being taken from me by another human being's moral judgements.

I'm not strongly advocating parenting licenses. I get irritated by poor, irresponsible parenting but realistically a "breeding license" would never happen.


Better answer would probably be to take this young girl out of her mother's care. If your child is that heavy and you refuse to do anything solid about it, the issue of neglect and even abuse come into play. But to deny this young lady life to begin with? We have no idea of the wonderful person she is or will become someday so to deny her life based on her mother's qualifications seems hasty and cruel. And you know what--13 years ago, her mother might have been the type of person we would have thought would make a good parent--years and life sometimes change a person both positively and negatively. I know I'm not the same person I was when I had my first child nearly 11 years ago, I doubt this lady is either. Age, time, and experience doesn't always bring positive growth in people.

I think this may be addressed at other people, since again I did not come out strongly in favor of parenting licenses and I wasn't the first in the thread to propose them.

However, parents of children who are obese where the obesity cannot be explained by some medical condition such as Prader-Willi syndrome are, in my opinion, neglectful and abusive. It isn't fair to any child to enter adulthood as an obese person. As long as a child lives in the same house as his/her parents, they do control to a certain extent what that child eats. It's more difficult nowadays with the amount of sugary drinks and snacks sold in schools, but the easiest solution would be to not give the child any pocket money to buy that stuff and to pack a lunch for them. Their friends will eventually get sick of giving that kid money to buy candy bars/cokes.

I think nowadays too many parents try to be their child's friend instead of their parent. Being friends with your kids comes much later...when the kid is an adult...and for some families, it never happens. I love my parents, but we're not friends and never will be. Parents need to put their collective foot down and say the magic word: NO. NO to McDonald's. NO to Pizza Hut. NO to Coke/Pepsi. NO to candy. NO, NO, NO. It's easy. Practice saying it in front of a mirror. NO!

Just because a person is obese - doesn't mean that they've moved into fast food places... I've said this countless times here -I got to almost 400lbs by eating what most people would consider healthy foods... Just portion control was a problem...

My brother until puberty kicked in and he discovered girls - was a husky kid - and my house never had chips or cookies or sweets other than fruit... the only way yo could get to the store was riding your bike... he didn't gorge on crap food - he ate a lot of fruit and stufff -portion control.. Puberty kicked in and he started playing soccer and i a year's time he grew about a foot and slimmed down... not much else changed other than he started playing soccer

and i don't think anyone was serious about parenting licenses - though when i do take over the world - common sense and the ability to think will be a qualifier for continuation of life.. it will be mal's version of the Carousel from Logan's Run - instead of 30 entering yu into Carousel - lack of common sense and thinking for yourself will send you there :D

Just because a person is obese - doesn't mean that they've moved into fast food places... I've said this countless times here -I got to almost 400lbs by eating what most people would consider healthy foods... Just portion control was a problem...

I know; I'm obese and I hardly ever eat fast food, though I used to. In the last few years my problem has been sit-down restaurants and portion control, not McDonald's. However, I think the increased frequency with which some families go to fast-food restaurants is linked to the explosion in childhood obesity.


My brother until puberty kicked in and he discovered girls - was a husky kid - and my house never had chips or cookies or sweets other than fruit... the only way yo could get to the store was riding your bike... he didn't gorge on crap food - he ate a lot of fruit and stufff -portion control.. Puberty kicked in and he started playing soccer and i a year's time he grew about a foot and slimmed down... not much else changed other than he started playing soccer

I'm not talking about husky kids; I'm talking about kids I see whenever I go out that look like they have rubber bands up and down their arms and legs. Kids that are wheezing from the effort of walking slowly through Wal-Mart or the supermarket with their parents. It's stunning, really. Maybe it's because I live in one of the fattest cities in one of the fattest states, but it seems to me that extremely fat children are everywhere, and that they're becoming the rule rather than the exception. Growing up, none of my peers were ever that fat. Ever.


and i don't think anyone was serious about parenting licenses - though when i do take over the world - common sense and the ability to think will be a qualifier for continuation of life.. it will be mal's version of the Carousel from Logan's Run - instead of 30 entering yu into Carousel - lack of common sense and thinking for yourself will send you there :D

The world will be a small place then; common sense is not common. :seeya:

This is unfortunately an example of what I see every time I look around. It drives me crazy, because people don't seem to take responsibility for their own actions on any level at all.

"oh, he had a rough childhood, thats why he is a serial killer now", "he is just misunderstood" WTF?? Anybody remember Warren Zevon's sarcastic song "Excitable Boy"?

I'm overweight because I didn't push myself away from the table soon enough, and didn't exercise enough. Not because my parents didn't love me enough, or because some TV show told me to do it or any other reason. Nobody force fed me half a birthday cake, I did it myself!!!! I'm fat because I made myself that way!

Drives me nuts!!!

I fully accept responsibility for letting myself get as overweight as I did. I knew better. Genetically on my mom's side... the women are predisposed to being freaking HUGE! I'm probably the 'anorexic' on that side of the family now. Wouldn't know, because I don't have any contact with that side of the family beyond my mother. Her sister (she's not my aunt in anything but the fact she's mom's sister) is by all accounts right up there with the woman who is the mother of the 13 year old girl. And way obese because of years of self neglect.


One more thing, the parenting license. I could never be ok with something like that. Who would make the judgement as to who is 'fit' or not? Beethoven's mother would probably not have been considered fit yet she begot Beethoven. The natural mother of my daughter's 2 cousins would not have been considered fit, yet the two girls are alive and well thanks to my sister in law who adopted them from a neglectful parent. My point is if we were to exclude people on the face, it could be foolhardy since the child may be perfectly wonderful and we are basing their worthiness to life based on the idiocy of their parent. Not to mention that I'm really not eager to have my basic freedoms as a human being taken from me by another human being's moral judgements.


Therein lies the dichotomy of the situation. On one hand, I fully believe some people should just not be allowed to breed. The one thing that is probably the most important 'job' on this planet is raising future generations to be responsible members of society, to teach them morals, consequences for their actions, and to keep them safe & healthy. It just doesn't happen nearly as often as it should. On the other hand, I don't like the idea of anybody's basic freedoms removed either.


I'm not strongly advocating parenting licenses. I get irritated by poor, irresponsible parenting but realistically a "breeding license" would never happen.


I think it should be made a mandatory part of high school education to take some basic parenting classes. No diploma without it. Maybe make that part of their schooling a relatively short time, but make the information vital. Sad that a lot of kids aren't learning these basic values at home and it would have to be even suggested to put it in schools.


and i don't think anyone was serious about parenting licenses - though when i do take over the world - common sense and the ability to think will be a qualifier for continuation of life.. it will be mal's version of the Carousel from Logan's Run - instead of 30 entering yu into Carousel - lack of common sense and thinking for yourself will send you there :D

Oh, now THERE'S an idea! :sifone:

Reading all of this, I honestly have mixed emotions.

We were all fat at one time.. and guess what, mine was my parents faults.
It's not becuase they are bad parents, or because they wanted me to have a heart attack at 24. They had been taught the same bad eating habits when they were kids. Macaroni and cheese, lasagna, and hamburger helper were things that were eaten all the time.
I can understand that with a 13 year old it is outrageous to be that large and her mother should limit her, but the mother has no control of what that girl does when she's out of the house. That 13 year old is very capable of buying food for herself. Money? How does a 13 year old get money? Easy. Either lies about lunch money and spends it on junk food, or birthdays, christmas, all comes with money. I'm almost positive at 13 a child is able to have their own savings account access, unless it's 16.

I don't know. I was an emotional eater. I didn't really get big until 14..But my mother never gave me mass amounts and NEVER said you dont leave the table until you finish this. Never.
Another point to make is...she may not have been that big 2 years ago, and most likely wasnt. School children are cruel. If you are even CHUBBY you get called fat. I was 110 in 6th grade getting called fat. So I can imagine if she was 140-200 in 6th grade she was getting teased beyond beleif. I had people on my bus tease me that I should sumo them. Beleive me. that conjured up a whole lot of emotional eating.

Some things are beyond parents reach. They can surely help. My mother tried helping me on various diets that I ASKED FOR HELP FOR. She never said I was fat or pressured me into dieting. Thankfully, she tried weight watchers when I was 15, which ended up working for me.

All I can say is...really sometimes the parents aren't all to blame... At the age of 13 you are forced to be around people who tease and taunt you. That can be a large trigger for eating.

I do agree though that the mother has other options, and the introduction of vegetables to her child was clearly never made. That is a no no on her part.
But, you know at least she is working to sustain her household, and she's trying. Lipo definately isn't the way to go, but maybe she's sick of trying everything else. What do you say to your kid that's so distraught from being obese. Do you criticize them like everyone else?? Bottom line is, it's way to late for her to control her daughter now, and maybe it wasn't so out of control just 3 years ago when she would have been able to interject better.

I think the only thing that helped me was that my mom never did put me down..and I never had to stress about my mom picking on me..It was always help when I wanted it.

I don't know. Parents are an easy target to blame, because yes, Americans eat bad foods. I think that is clear enough in this day and age, but sometimes we need to open our eyes to things that may be happening. I'm sure that mother doesn't want her child to be obese. The mother herself isn't skinny, but she probably figured that her child was going to be chubby just like her and never get to a point like she had.

So yes, partially the mother had something to do with it, but every parent usually does. I seriously have no friends that I know that were taught good eating habits. NONE. ABSOLUTELY NONE. They all joke with me and will ask me.. is this good? is this good for you? But they just happen to have faster metabolisms and busier life styles.

Sorry if I offended anyone, but I seriously do feel bad for the mother. No mother wants their child to be obese and end up like that. Is there more she could do? Definately. She should sign her up for a gym and go WITH her. Ask her to take little walks. SHOULD HAVE INTRODUCED VEGETABLES WAYYY EARLIER, so that is a negative point that she has against her. But, I can't say the mother is totally to blame at all.

She will only lose weight now if SHE truely tries to. I think it's beyond her mothers control.

I'm sorry but there is a huge difference between a 13 year-old weighing 140-160lbs (which for most 13 year-old girls would probably be on the heavy side) and one that weighs TWICE THAT, at 320lbs. I was fat at 13 and I was less than half this girl's size.

There is simply no excuse for it. Unless the girl has some kind of condition that is responsible for her weight gain or that is making it hard/impossible for her to lose weight, it is her mother's fault. That girl did not turn 13 and suddenly double in size. She has probably been obese for years and the mom obviously is not trying hard enough.

I know it's difficult but for christ's sake, not many adults even reach the 300s. Doing it at 13 is unbelievable. I'd like to see what that girl eats in a day; I bet you it's more than I eat in a week. And her mother is letting her do it.

Plus, I don't know about other people but when I was 13 I did not have a lot of money. I also didn't have any way to get around other than my mom or my own two feet. I don't believe that that girl has an endless supply of pocket money or that she has the energy to walk to supermarkets/convenience stores and build a huge stash. And if she does have a huge stash...she's 13, lock her out of her room, toss it, find the stash, and throw it away.

Somebody has to be in charge here. Looks to me like it's the child.